Community of Weirdness: #1

I'm weird. 

I'm also curious, creative, and judgmental. That's why other strange things fascinate me. My husband Richie once said he was going to write a blog about me and my "Community of Weirdness." That was over four years ago. Hasn't happened yet, so I'm just gonna do it here.

This will be a collection of random stuff I find interesting so, hopefully, you will too. Have a seat, enjoy some coffee, and feel good about life, because you've just found a new family. 

Welcome, Weirdos. 

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*Not sure how I stumbled across this, but have you heard of 3D underwear? They're apparently a real thing so feel free to add it to your wish list for Santa. The animal face is supposed to make your junk look bigger. If you want a pair, Amazon sells 'em for under $10. Do they make a cat version for chicks though? Asking for a friend. 

3d underwear.jpg

*Maybe it's because I was munching on apples and peanut butter as I posted that pic, but for some reason it reminded me of dogs eating peanut butter. It's usually a funny, innocent pastime for pets, but some yahoo had to make it creepy for all the ASMR pervs.

I don't understand this fetish. Yeah, I know... it's supposed to be "relaxing" and "not sexual", but I still find it unnerving.

*Along those lines, I've realized I'm slowly turning into a grumpy, old man. I no longer like going to concerts or sporting events because I can't stand trying to find parking. I hate going anywhere during rush hour because I know there will be traffic. And I constantly dread getting my annual prostate exam. 

Ok, I may have made up that last part, but I've definitely become a curmudgeon. For example, I'm still on the fence as to whether or not we'll put up a Christmas tree this year. We sold all the decorations in our move a few months ago, and I can't muster up the energy to start from scratch. Bah, humbug.

*While I grumble, answer me this: You have to sit on Santa's lap. Do you choose: 

Option A.

Option A.

Or

Option B. 

Option B. 

I think I'm going with B. At least he can take that jacked-up mask off, and he's probably a real person under there. Option A looks like he has methmouth. 

*Speaking of, have you watched the HBO documentary Meth Storm yet? If not, don't waste your time. It's about a family of hillbillies in Arkansas who shoot up, go to jail, shoot up again, peek out the windows, and then shoot up some more. The mom is almost endearing, and riiiiight when you start to feel for her - POOF - the movie just ends. As if the tape ran out. Then it goes straight into credits. If I'm investing an hour and a half watching people mainline crank, I need to know what happened to them after filming. Is that guy still in jail? Did the wife leave the son afterall? Did that one lady's teeth ever grow back? I need answers, dammit. I give it 9 outta 16 ounces. 

*Earlier today, I was listening to Shane Dawson's podcast, and his co-host Jessie Buttafuoco introduced me to a term I've never heard before. It's called munging, and it's disgusting. Pretty sure it's a myth because I can't imagine ANYONE actually doing something so foul. It's on Urban Dictionary, but the link is definitely NSFW. Also, have a trash can nearby in case you hurl. You've been warned. 

*2017 has been the Year of the Statue. For real, that should be TIME's "Person of the Year." Just last week another monument was deemed inappropriate, and it must now be redesigned. I'll admit, though, it does lend itself to an... um... less-than-holy interpretation. 

(Photo from @7NewsAdelaide on Twitter)

(Photo from @7NewsAdelaide on Twitter)

*It appears blasphemous, but it's simply an optical illusion. Sorta like this pregnant dude

Whuuuuut? (Photo credit: Robert Morton/ Cre8tive Vision)

Whuuuuut? (Photo credit: Robert Morton/ Cre8tive Vision)

Oh, the fun we have. That's actually his wife, as seen below in one of those incredibly awkward, open-top-no-bra photos. Why do women do this? No one wants to see your nekkid, preggo belly. Plus, there's a child present for cryin' out loud.

(Photo credit: Robert Morton/Cre8tive Vision)

(Photo credit: Robert Morton/Cre8tive Vision)

*Here's another disturbing pregnato pic. It's an oldie but goodie.

How does her back bend like that? Looks like a centaur. 

How does her back bend like that? Looks like a centaur. 

*I'll leave you with a some words of wisdom. This is why you don't play with grenades. "Police said they believe Mr Chechik expected the grenade would not explode as long as he didn't throw it."

Until next time... Stay Weird.